The offender is a book called
Tainted Dish. It’s the third in the Charles Stone series of
travel mysteries by Charles L. Fields, and I got to tell you—I don’t want to
rip it to shreds. I really don’t. The author is a gentlemen if there ever was
one. When I told him I didn’t like the
book, he asked me for a more detailed critique and then thanked me for my
input. He was humble and courteous and
everything that an author should be. A
joy to talk to, really. Some of those
folks on Poketfulofbooks’ Authors Behaving Badly series could learn a thing or
two from him. But like it says on the
review policy, if I read it, that means I got to review it. And rules is rules, right?
Right. So let’s get to it.
Charles Stone is in his
fifties, a widower, and part owner of the Boston
security firm McGraw Stone and Tucker. His previous adventures have taken him
around the globe, investigating, swashbuckling, and generally solving peoples’
problems where they intersect with international politics and intrigue. His
third adventure, however, has him sticking closer to home. A friend of the family (also recently
windowed, as it so happens) named Janice Johnson has inherited her late
husband’s half of a very successful satellite dish development and
manufacturing company. The other half of
the company is owned by Sam Torkilson, and he’s pissed at having to share it. To make matters worse, the plant manager has
been found impaled and gruesomely murdered on one of their prototype satellite
dishes, so Janice calls in Chuck and company to sort things out.
Sounds like the kind of thing
that would be right up my alley, doesn’t it?
Sure, that’s why I requested a review copy in the first place. But there were problems with it I just
couldn’t overlook. The dialogue felt
stilted and unrealistic in parts, and did nothing to lend any depth to the
characters. The villain seemed like a
caricature with dialogue and reactions that felt grossly exaggerated—and don’t
get me started on the plot holes. In
addition, every other page it seemed like the author was going on about another
Boston landmark, which is interesting and all (and maybe why the book was
called a “travel mystery”), but all it did was slow down the narrative with
tangential information and turned it into more of a travel guide more than a
mystery. The book was rife with
grammatical and typographical errors, too.
But what really got my goat, the thing that made put down the book and
say, “I just can’t do this anymore,” was the POV.
Of course there are
exceptions. Epistolary novels? Sure.
Round-robin story telling stuff like The
Canterbury Tales? Awesome. But a contemporary mystery/thriller with no
narrative gimmick that just mashes up 1st person and 3rd
person POVs for no good reason? That I
can’t abide by. That’s just my opinion,
of course. Plenty of authors have defied
Wilhoit’s Rules of Narrative Structure
(I’m trademarking that when I nail down some other tenets, by the way) and met
with plenty of success and literary acclaim.
But screw ‘em, I don’t care.
Alternating first and third person just shouldn’t be done. And when it happens in the middle of a chapter sans-scene break, I’m out. Cash in my chips, thank you very much for
letting me play, but I must be on my way.
I’ve reviewed some real
stinkers on here before, but none that I simply couldn’t finish. Maybe the difference between this one and the
rest comes down to my own prejudices about POV and narrative structure. Maybe, but I’m not so sure. So take what I said with a grain of
salt. Hell, read it yourself and
formulate your own opinion. If someone
wants the book, I’ll even mail it to them free of charge (U.S. only, though). You just say the word. It’ll be one less book for me to keep track
of, and maybe someone else will get some enjoyment out of it.
Maybe you should do a giveaway for it? Everyone loves the free shit fairy. Promotion for the author and the winner can read it for them self and see what they think. Also you volunteered to be on my blog. Yep taking you up on that offer. Guest post it baby you know whenever you have the time.
ReplyDeleteI thought about doing a giveaway (and LOL about the "free shit fairy"), but I think I would feel bad about telling people, "Hey, this book sucked ass, but wouldn't you like to win a copy?" I think I'd rather give it to the first person who says they want it. It requires less effort that way.
DeleteAnd about the guest post--I'll let you know about that. I'm going to have to nail down my reading list for next month, and I'll try to pick something that would fit into your usual milieu. I'll be in touch about it, for sure.
Great post Jonathan.
ReplyDeleteI have had my share of authors coming at me full force because I didn't like the book. One even wrote a two page letter with a whole bunch of curses, some I've never heard (and I was in the military). Of course I'll never again read any of his books and he put me off Indie authors for a while.
I'm glad you had a positive experience and kudos to Mr. Fields for wanting to get better.
http://www.ManOfLaBook.com
Thanks, Z. Coming from you, that's high praise.
DeleteIt really is a shame that so many authors out there take bad reviews the way they do. I mean, I understand that I just ripped apart their baby. It stings, I know. But looking at it a different angle, someone took the time out of their day to read your book. Even if they didn't like it, they took time out of their day to read your book. They put a considerable amount of effort into it, reading the book, posting a review, and sometimes providing valuable critical feedback. Even if you don't agree with them, the only polite and reasonable thing to do is to thank them for their input and move on with life. Not everyone is going to like your work. Even Shakespeare had his detractors. So if you insist upon railing against everyone who didn't like your book, you're going to die one seriously exhausted person.
Charles knows how to do it. I can't applaud him enough in that regard.
I want a giveaway of "Wilhoit’s Rules of Narrative Structure".
ReplyDeleteJust sayin.
I doubt wnyone will actually want to buy said rules, so if I ever do codify them, you can consider them a permanent giveaway. :)
DeleteI bet I can out stink this. Try Henry's Sisters by Cathy Lamb. I've yet to find a book that comes even close.
ReplyDeleteI'd take the free book just to see if it could be worse. Alas, I'm not in the U.S. I might pick this book up simply because the author seems like a stand up guy.
I'm scared to even look that what that book is about. And you know I'd send this 'un to you if I could find an economical way to send it to Taiwan. Any ideas?
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